Stanley Louis believes that the road to reaching your fitness goals should be efficient, energizing and, most importantly, an enjoyable experience that keeps you coming back for more.  

 “I am dedicated to helping busy individuals to, not just get into fantastic shape but, change their lives – one step at a time.” Says Stanley “My clients are super successful at meeting their goals because we work together toward finding the fun and enjoyment of getting into, and staying in, shape versus seeing it as something that they “have to” or “should” do.” 

 This, according to Stanley, is part of the reason why New Year’s resolutions so often fail by the end of January.   “People put too much energy into the idea of getting into shape. They over complicate things by focusing on where they want to be versus working out in the moment and allowing themselves to have fun in the process. It is about living a more active lifestyle, which includes exercise and proper nutrition as a core element.”

 Stanley has created programs for hundreds of clients that make the transition to an active lifestyle fun and exciting.  “All I need is for an individual to make time in their schedule to dedicate to their physical self.  Do that, and I bring the fun, the technique, and most of all quick and sustainable results.  Stop the dialogue in your head and just show up for yourself. My team and I will take care of the rest.”

Stanley Louis is an avid athlete, a fitness expert, consultant, boxer and the co-founder of Transition Haven, LLC. - an organization that provides personal and professional leadership services that include integrated coaching and fitness programs.  He has also earned the reputation for being a strategic and results oriented health and wellness consultant, specializing in improving the performance of personal fitness clubs and fitness departments. 

 Stanley has helped hundreds of individuals achieve their physical fitness goals through his dynamic and unique approach to personal training and fitness.  You can find Stanley these days at LA Boxing  (973) 593-9BOX (9269) in Florham Park where he is serving as the gym’s General Manager. He may also be reached at (908) 937-7839, at (973) 378-2262 or via email at info@transitionhaven.com.

Envision that something big is going on around you and you have no control over the outcome or what it will mean for your future.  You see the writing on the wall and know that something is awry but you’re not completely clear on what is going on or what it will mean for your future (think the rumor mill during a potential down-sizing at your organization). You have questions, feel uncertain, and are solely reliant upon the people that you trust immensely to provide you answers and to let you know that, while the road ahead might be difficult, it will all work out.  This is what divorce feels like to your child.  However, while a major component of divorce is about the loss of love between the adults in the situation, the role of parents (no matter their feelings or conflict toward each other) is to support their child(ren) in accepting and understanding how their parents’ decision impacts them specifically.

Divorce is an extremely challenging life event. Nonetheless, there are things that you can do to make this an easier time for your children and to move your family forward in a healthier way. First off, avoid burdening your child with your own fears, uncertainty, heartache, personal loss, grief, etc.  Understand that he or she is going through their own version of the event and that extreme support, help, and understanding is what is in their best interest.  

That said, here are some tips that can help to ease the conversation about the transition to your child(ren):

Make sure that you are on a common page before bringing the situation to your children.  The news of an impending divorce is hard enough without them having to absorb conflict within the news of the change within the family.  It helps to plan what you will share ahead of time. The goal of the discussion is to simply communicate the facts in the situation and to allow your children the opportunity to process the information and to ask any initial questions they may have. Avoid blaming each other and giving too many details about the “why” in the divorce.  Remember that this conversation is completely for your child(ren). It is not about you or about proving what a jerk your spouse is.

Here are a few points that you may want to cover:

• That you’ve made a decision to divorce.
• What’s been decided about living arrangements
• Assure them of your love and your commitment to support them through the process
• Acknowledge that there is and will be a transition period and that there are some unknowns. Agree that you will keep the communications lines open and will let them know pertinent information as you know it.
• Give them the opportunity to process the information and to ask questions.  Allow them the choice to continue the conversation at that time, or not.  Give them space and time to process the news. While they may have known that there were issues going on, they may need some time to absorb what they’ve heard. Gift them that and ensure that they know that the communication lines are open and will remain open.

Listen to your child throughout the entire process and answer their questions honestly.  Try to really hear what your child wants to know and answer their questions as directly and honestly as possible. Here are a few Do’s and Don’ts that you may want to consider:

• Do try to really hear what your child wants to know and answer their questions as directly and honestly as possible.
• Do be honest – Yes. There will be change.  Yes. A parent will live someplace else. Yes. The two parents are working to resolve certain details etc. Yes. There is uncertainty and some unknowns. 
• Don’t use your child’s questions as an opportunity to blast the other parent. It is unfair to burden him or her with your fears, uncertainty, anger and frustration.
• Do not use your child(ren) as a communication tool to the other parent.
• Do not speak disparagingly about their other parent, no matter what is going on within the legal process. For example, if your child asks you to buy a pen do not use this as an opportunity to tell the child that you cannot buy the pen because the other parent has left the family to never afford to write again. Commit to keeping those conflicts and your frustrations around them away from your child. They don’t need the information and cannot do anything about it anyway. Figure it out and vent to someone else.
• Don’t hide from the situation.  Face it early on.  The process of divorce is extremely difficult, impacts almost every aspect of a family’s life (emotional, financial, structure, etc), in a very stressful and frustrating way.  The process also involves a tremendous amount of loss and change for all involved.
• Do ensure that those who need to know what is going on (including your child's teachers and other caregivers) are kept in the loop so that they can support you and your child(ren).
• Do seek help for yourself and for your child(ren) if needed. Lean on your family and friends.

Most importantly, it is almost impossible for you to care for another on an empty tank. Do remember that you really do need you during this time.  If you feel that you need support - ask for it and make sure that you get it. Avoid the urge to isolate. Keep the lines of communication open. Give yourself a break when you need one and remember that this is a temporary situation that does not have to define the rest of your life nor your child’s life. This too shall, most assuredly, pass. You, and your family, will get to the other side.  

Please reach out if you need us either for individual coaching or for our ground-breaking and highly effective divorce support program.

I wish you and your family Peace, forward movement, and the smoothest transition possible.

Lisane

(973) 378-2262 office

(973) 727-9099 cell

Lisane Basquiat is the co-founder of Transition Haven, LLC;  an organization that provides personal & professional leadership coaching, motivational and team-building speaking services, consultation in organizational effectiveness and change management strategies, workshops geared toward management development and personal leadership, team and executive coaching, physical fitness training, transformational retreats, and integrated coaching/fitness programs. Contact us at (973) 378-2262 for more information.

I enjoyed the experience immensely and left feeling incredibly gratified. I was also intrigued by the group’s response when I asked them each to share their greatest professional challenges.   These were the top 10:

• I struggle with Work/Life Balance.
• I don't feel comfortable promoting myself.
• I am too hard on myself.
• I don't feel comfortable delegating/If you want something done right you have to do it yourself.
• I have a hard time managing my stress. It sometimes shows.
• I struggle to understand what the “rules” are
• I take on too much.
• I always find myself with too much to do.
• I want to learn how/when to say no.
• I doubt myself.

Do any of those statements sound like you?

I'll be honest with you - the answers to the question weren’t what intrigued me. I’d heard these same responses from hundreds of clients many times before. What struck me is that these are such typical responses from females in the workplace that I hear far more infrequently from their male counterparts.  No matter the level, industry, role, years of experience, or expertise, women continue to struggle with taking on too much,  a lack of confidence, learning how to say no, and ultimately with unleashing our leadership abilities and potential.  We struggle with these in our professional and personal lives and it depletes us.

I believe that these are the greatest challenges facing female entrepreneurs and corporate leaders today.  I ‘m also confident that responding to this information presents an awesome opportunity for growth and advancement if we are willing to carve out some time in our own lives to contemplate a strategy for doing things in a manner that better serves us personally and professionally.  Are you up for the challenge?

I wish you Peace, Prosperity, and Powerful Leadership.

Lisane

We then work toward eliminating those obstacles which always translates into their drastically improved ability to move forward with ease, clarity, purpose, and greater speed (because they've found something to do with all of the stuff that was holding them back). 

I always stand in awe of this process and, without exception, feel honored each and every time I get to watch an individual's progress from our first meeting to the eventual accomplishment of their goals.  It looks, from where I sit, like an awakening and a reacquaintence with their intrinsic wisdom, truth, potential, and ability. Great stuff!

Anyway, I had a conversation with a really good friend last night who was extremely emotional as she vented about how she's been impacted by an important person in her life who, she says, consistently criticizes her every decision.  She went on to explain the decisions she's made as a result of the way that she has experienced this other person.  This made her all the more upset. We talked for quite some time.

Much later last evening I began to think about the situation from the perspective of the individual that my friend is in conflict with. I don't know this person but would guess that (at least in regard to their relationship with my friend) they have some behaviors that stand in their own way. I then wondered whether or not this person realized the enormity of impact upon how their behaviors, habits, criticism, sabotage, negativity, fear, etc., stood in the way of those with whom they interact.

People who are struggling within themselves can, at times, be so consumed that they lose sight of how their struggle affects other people.  This is, usually, not intentional but can be painful to observe and experience nonetheless. So my questions are these...

1. First off, in which ways are you standing in your own way? Do your behaviors, attitudes, thoughts, etc. align with the way that you want to experience your personal and/or professional life? If they don't, invest some quality time in figuring out what to do to get you there (shameless plug - I know a coach that will help).
2. Secondly, how aware are you of how your behaviors, fears, attitudes, thoughts, stress (really important) etc. impact those with whom you work, live, parent, are friends with?  
   1. Are you an encourager or a naysayer?
   2. How respectful (and supportive) are you of other people's decisions, no matter your opinion?
   3. Do you parent/manage/love/date/friend from fear masked in all knowing?
   4. How effectively do you manage your stress so that it doesn't permeate onto the people around you?
   5. How willing are you to allow other people to examine and experience their lives (mistakes and all) without judgement?
   6. If you are a parent, do you respect your teenager enough to allow them the freedom, creativity, and space to decide how they want to design their adult lives? Can you provide guidance, support, an ear, and compassion without grabbing their reins?

Imagine how much happier you would be if you were to get out of your own way and, also, the way of others. Please live the best life that you possibly can, and allow others to do the same.

As always, I wish you Love, Peace, and Awareness.

Lisane

(973) 378-2262 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting            (973) 378-2262      end_of_the_skype_highlighting

lisane@transitionhaven.com



How clear are you on what distinguishes you from others within your organization, and on how you are perceived? Wikipedia defines a brand as a name, sign, symbol, slogan or anything that is used to identify and distinguish a specific product, service, or business.    We each have a  unique “professional brand” that is personified through our behaviors, habits, leadership style, professionalism, presence, responsiveness, ability to play well with others, and general demeanor. These qualities, and many others, make for the over-arching impression that we make upon those with whom we interact.  It is, also, how people describe us to others. Have you ever met someone that you felt you already "knew" because of what you'd heard about them? The reality is that your “professional brand” can either make or halt your career progression.  

I challenge you to answer the following few questions as candidly as you can:

1. How satisfied are you, really (and with no excuses), with how you are showing up from day to day in your professional life?
2. If asked, which 3 - 5 words would your colleagues, business partners, and customers use to describe you?  If you’re not sure, please take the time to invest in your brand by asking them.
3. In which area(s ) of leadership are you least satisfied with how you are performing on a day to day basis?
4. How clear are you on your strengths and on the areas of your professional leadership that could use some improvement?
5. Which 8 - 10 qualities would you like to be identified by?  In other words, what is your ideal image for your <insert your name her> brand?

The extent to which you master the qualities that make for the brand of your choosing will help you to, effectively and strategically, chart your professional path.  Conversely, unaddressed weakness in some or all of these areas could be standing in the way of you obtaining the career results that you aspire to.

The bottom line is that we are each crafting our personal and professional brand each day, whether we are aware of it or not.  How powerful would it be to know that, own it, and leverage that knowledge as part of our overall strategy for career progression? Not sure of where to start? Contact me to schedule a complimentary coaching session.

I wish you Love, Peace, and great success.

Lisane

lisane@transitionhaven.com

(973) 378-2262 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting            (973) 378-2262      end_of_the_skype_highlighting office

I'm not sure that this is still "in" but several years ago, during his late adolescence, I noticed that my son and his friends would greet each other with either the question "What's good?" or "What's really good?"  At the time, the tired parent in me saw this as yet another way that my teen chose to connect to his inner urban "hood," through language.  Why couldn’t he just say “What’s up?” like the rest of the world (Can you tell that I was, at the time, all teened out)? So, while the tired parent-of-a-teen in me gritted her teeth, the coach in me, conversely, appreciated the fact that my son and his friends chose to say hello with a question about what was positive in their world at the time.

It occurred to me recently that what I hear in my “adult” travels is not much different from what I gathered (and, frankly, judged) during my parental eavesdropping: “What’s up” “Nothin’. What’s up with you?”  I wonder how often we really pay attention to this question? So, this is the challenge and I sure hope you take it: 

Add whatever works for you to the end of the “What’s ____”  in your greeting but push the person to really answer the question, and then challenge yourself to do the same.  You’ll find that what is “good,” “really good,” or “up” in your life is so much bigger and more powerful than what is not.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”   Philippians 4:8, new international version

Live Now!

Love and Peace folks.

Lisane